My View on Point of ViewMissy Tippens
DISCLAIMER: I’m not an expert onpoint of view (POV). And I’m not going to talk about all types of point of view.This is not an exhaustive study. I just thought I'd talk a little about what I’velearned from reading, judging contests and critiquing. I love reading andwriting in first person and third person. But today I’m talking about writingin third person since that’s what I use for my Love Inspired books.
So…for any newbies, you may beasking what exactly is POV?
I like to think of POV as strappinga camera on the character's forehead so we only see what that character cansee...as well as planting a bug in that character's brain so we can"hear" what that character thinks.
So as you're writing, you can onlywrite what this character would see or think. To let the reader know what othercharacters are seeing or thinking, you can only do it by having the POVcharacter watch and draw conclusions. For example, if you're in Jane's POV, andshe breaks up with John, then you can't suddenly have John thinking about hisbroken heart. You can only show what Jane sees: tears in his eyes or a scowl onhis face. Or you can show him pacing or racing out of the room. Then she drawsher conclusions. Of course, you can also show how he's feeling (or how he's actinglike he's feeling) in dialogue.
Let's look at some examples ofproblems we can run into with POV:
1. Head Hopping.
For those who don’tknow what this is, it’s when you frequently move back and forth from one person’spoint of view to another.
Jane couldn’t bear to wear John’s ring for another moment. Not whenhe’d turned his back on her at the moment she needed him most. She slipped theengagement ring off, took hold of his hand and placed the ring in his palm
John gasped as pain arrowed to his heart. How could she do this? “Idon’t understand.”
“I think you do.” She couldn’t resist the pleading in his eyes andhurried from the room.
In that example, I switched fromJane to John to Jane. In my writing, I usually stay in one character's point ofview for a whole scene, then have a scene break. Every now and then, in aparticularly emotional or important scene, I might switch one time during thescene. But for the most part, I remain only in the point-of-view character's head.
I’m not a POV purist. But I dosuggest staying in one POV because I think we need the time to bond with acharacter. We need to stay in his or head long enough to care about his/herhopes and goals. If I’m reading a book that bounces back and forth, I don’tfeel as invested in the main characters. And that’s NOT GOOD. Because thatmakes me able to put the book down.
2. Characters think things thatdon’t make sense or make them unlikable.
If you're in a female character'sPOV in an opening scene where you want to describe your main character, wouldyou write something like this?
Jane Doe's glorious golden hairflowed down her back, waving in adorable ringlets that made other womenjealous.
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| Photo credit gromovataya/Crestock.com |
Well, probably not. What's theproblem here?
Most women won't think of their ownhair in that manner. Plus, they don't normally see how their hair looks in theback unless they're holding a hand mirror while looking into another mirror.
What might a woman feel or see inher hair? Would this description work better?
Jane Doe's golden blonde hair hungheavy down her back, the curls wild from the humidity.
So yes, she can feel the weight ofit. And she can think about it being wild, which doesn't seem like bragging. Orif the point of the original sentence was to show that other women admire herhair, you could do that but would have to be careful that you don't make herseem conceited. I've seen something like this before and thought it was fine:
Jane Doe brushed her wildly curlingblonde hair and swept it into a ponytail. Her mom and friends always told herit was her best feature, but they didn't have to deal with the unruliness.
So something like that example getsthe point across while making the character seem likable.
NOTE: I'll add here that unless you'rewriting in only one POV, it's my opinion it's best to save the physicaldescription for when you're in the POV of another character. So, John candescribe Jane's hair as glorious and adorable. And if he's wanting to run hisfingers through her hair, then it's a great way to show his emotion as well,doing double duty. :)
3. Writing that uses “distancing”words that aren’t needed and that also end up telling the reader things thatare better shown.
Writing in deep POV helps preventthis problem. I won’t talk much about that. Camy did a great post on this (clickhere). I just wanted to share an example.
John wanted to throw down his cellphone to get rid of the words Jane had written in the text message. He wonderedwhy she didn't love him anymore. He thought maybe he could change her mind. Butthen he felt a sense of despair when he realized she hadn't initiated contactin over a week.
Okay, so there's probably nothingtechnically wrong with that example. But it doesn't use deep POV. Words like"wondered" and "thought" and "felt" and"realized" are all distancing words that aren't needed. They're likea layer between the character and the reader, and are "telling" words.Plus, despair is naming an emotion, which you want to avoid as well.
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| photo credit: iofoto/Crestock.com |
Remember: camera on forehead, bugin brain. Using that bug in the brain, let's re-write this passage as if it'scoming straight in John's thoughts.
John jammed his cell phone with theoffending text message into his pocket. Jane didn't love him anymore. Why?Could he possibly do something to change her mind? A quick glance at his cellphone proved she hadn't called in over a week and set up a jagged ache in hischest. No, he wouldn't be changing her mind.
See how that cuts out all the"stuff" you don't need? You're right in John's head, not telling howJohn is thinking and feeling.
Those are the three POV problems Isee most often. I know I still have trouble with forgetting not to nameemotions! That’s one area I continually work on. I hope showing examples andtalking about them helped.
So what do you think? Do you agreewith how I handled the examples? Did you find you've got POV problems? Feelfree to share any examples of your writing if you’re not sure. We can all pitchin a help.
Oh! And any author worth hersalt would leave links to pre-order her next book! :)
Georgia Sweethearts
A Pattern For Love...After inheriting her great-aunt's failing yarn shop, Lilly Barnes is determined to make it a success. All she wants is stability, something she doesn't think possible in the small town of Corinthia, Georgia. Then Pastor Daniel Foreman rents space in her store to hold meetings for his growing congregation, and this proves to be her lifeline. At first Lilly wants nothing to do with Daniel's big dreams, but she soon finds herself starting to share his goals. Yet trouble between her customers and his congregation make them both doubt the path they're on. That is, until practical Lilly shows him that love is a risk worth taking.
Pre-order atAmazonCBDB&N
Visit Missy at www.missytippens.com
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