I've just finished judging the First Impression contest for ACFW, which is such a great idea for a contest.It made me start thinking about starting a story and I’m going to try and talk with you about where, when and how.
I’m open to other opinions here because it’s tricky, so chime in.
I always say explode your story. Explode that book onto the page. But it’s not enough to explode for the sake of exploding. You've got to explode your story.
The opening of a book needs to do five things.
1) Explode
2) Story
3) Anchor
4) Moment of Change
5) Cute Meet
1) EXPLODE- I mean something big, emotionally or physically, right off the bat.
When you’re revising your book take a few moments and VISUALIZE the editor. Visualize her sitting at her desk with STACKS of manila envelopes to her left and right. You know she is exhausted, overwhelmed, she’s got a lot of other jobs besides acquiring and she’s set 2-4 pm aside daily to read submissions from unpublished authors.
She rips open envelop after envelop and here’s the thing…she WANTS to buy your story. She wants something to grab her and excite her. She is hoping and praying she’ll find a new author. SHE NEEDS YOU.
Now, I don’t know this, but I suspect you've got about two minutes. You have got to grab her just like you're going to have to grab a reader when your book is published. You've got to write something exciting and you've got about half a page to do it.
Now look at your opening. Is it there? Is what she needs going to leap right off the page at her? Your story needs to explode.
HOWEVER it needs to not just explode for the sake of an explosion. There needs to be a point. It’s your STORY that’s exploding not just some random action scene to hook an editor.
2) STORY—Story! Story! Story! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!! YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME YOUR STORY. The story need to be there, front and center. I don’t think I can stress this enough. You’ve got to tell me the story. Yes, explode the book, but WHAT STORY ARE YOU GOING TO TELL? The trickiness of starting a book becomes MUCH SIMPLER if you just tell me your story from word one!
One of my recurring comments in judging is, “I still have no idea the story you’re going to tell me. I can’t tell by reading if this is a romance, who the hero and heroine are going to be, I don’t know where I am, when I am, who these people are and what story you’re going to tell. This is a sure fired way to get your submission rejected. START THE STORY. It needs to be in there. If it’s NOT in there, then you need to rework it until it is. I should NOT have to go to the blurb to know your story. No, not even in a short submission like five pages. TELL ME YOUR STORY! (have I stressed that enough, yet?)
3) ANCHOR—WHERE am I, WHEN am I, WHO are these people. When someone picks up a Mary Connealy book hopefully from my past work, the cover, and the backstory blurb, a reader flips open the page knowing what to expect. It’s gonna be a historical romance set in the America West, post-Civil War. But even with the reader knowing that, I still need to anchor them firmly in a time and place for them to join me on this journey. A tag after the title isn't enough. AND—I CAN’T LET IT STOP MY STORY FROM EXPLODING!
Yes, you can put a date under the title
Over the Edge
Rawhide, Colorado
October 30, 1866
Chapter One
(sometimes I include setting here, Rawhide, Colorado, but I didn't in Over the Edge)
But no place and date can do the job of drawing in a reader. That isn't enough to truly anchor your reader and draw them into the world you’re trying to create. You don’t have to be heavy handed about this. If Callie Kincaid is in a stagecoach hold up, I’m done. I've anchored them. A stagecoach sets you in time and place.
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Callie Kincaid was riding through the Colorado Rockies in 1866.
Instead page one, sentence one of Over the Edge:
A bullet slammed through the door of the stagecoach, threading a needle to miss all four passengers.
It’s a hold-up!” Callie Kincaid grabbed her rifle. “Get down!”
Almost every reader is immediately going to start thinking about a stagecoach hold-up they’ve seen in a movie. And I’m done. It’s cowboys. It’s the American west. Horses, rifles, Stetsons. It’s all done with one sentence. I work Colorado in pretty soon, but honestly there’s little time with the bullets flying. And at this point Colorado isn’t important because the reader knows exactly where they are in a general sense. The Wild West.
4) Moment of Change— I've heard it said to start your story at the moment of change. So, okay, picture yourself right now. What are you doing? Duh, you’re reading Seekerville. Then, maybe you've got screaming kids tugging on your knees, or it’s time to get dinner or you've got to head out to work, or you’re going to write for an hour. I’m sorry to tell you this, but YOUR LIFE ISN'T A STORY. The stuff you did yesterday and today and tomorrow is all good, it’s life and it’s a good life. But it’s not a STORY. (and be thankful for that, most stories are full of trouble--in fact PRAY that your life never becomes a story!). A story usually begins when that everyday life is changed.
The phone rings.
A knock on the door.
An outlaw shoots you out of the saddle.
A man plunges over a creek bank riding his horse at full speed and a woman races to save his life.
The train pulls up and a tall, dark and handsome stranger steps off and his fiery hazel eyes lock on yours.
Now THAT’S a story. Pick that moment of change. How does your heroine’s life suddenly change?
In Too Deep, the hero and heroine already know each other. But there’s that awful, beautiful cavern and it nearly steals the heroine’s baby from her forever. Ethan saves the baby and Audra knows she’s got to get away from that cavern. It’s too dangerous for a toddler. Ethan and Audra are married by the first sentence of Chapter Two. There’s your moment of change.
In Too Deep
Chapter One
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Ethan's head snapped up at Audra's sharp tone. "What?"
Audra, rounding a boulder, just coming into view, dropped an armload of kindling. With the baby, Lily clutched to her chest, she charged forward calling, "Maggie!"
"I thought she stayed with you?" Ethan rose from where he crouched by the morning fire and turned in a circle, searching for the toddler.
Mary again—the kindling, the morning fire, these cues set this book in the past. I suppose it could be a camping trip, but hopefully it’s enough. The explosion is a missing toddler and the accompanying panic and desperate search. But the story is there, too. A mother with children, a heroic cowboy there to help. And the moment of change, once we’re done exploding of course, is that Audra needs to get away which propels the marriage and the change that begins our story.
5) Cute Meet—Begin your story with the moment the hero/heroine have their cute meet.
Have you ever heard that in a romance the hero and heroine need to meet by page three? This is a hard and fast rule in shorter romances. Especially unshakable for a new author trying to get that first contract. You can try and push the envelop later, when you’re established, but for now, no matter the length, if you’re trying to get published, a great way to start your story is for the hero and heroine to meet. BAM! Page one. Sentence one. No backstory. No prologue. Just have them meet.
In Out of Control, Rafe and Julia meet when Rafe hears a scream for help. This--the moment they meet--is such an obvious place to start a romance novel that if you DON’T pick it, you’d better have a really good reason. This is the moment of change, this can explode, this can anchor you in time and place. THIS IS YOUR STORY!
Out of Control
Chapter One
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Rafe Kincaid pulled his chestnut thoroughbred to a halt in full darkness, still a distance away from the entrance of the cavern. (Mary--Rafe is riding a horse, BAM cowboy, American west, historical, his name...the book is anchored)
He rubbed the ugly, jagged scar that ran from the corner of his eye to his hairline just above his ear. He was glad he had it. A lifelong reminder of that awful day eleven years ago and this treacherous cavern. He'd grown up fast.
A breeze came down across the mountains and cooled the air and made the tree branches bob and dance. Like most summer nights in the Colorado Rockies, a fire would feel good. (Mary--more anchors, Colorado Rockies)
Rafe smelled grass. Over the crest of this rugged, heavily-wooded mountain, his cattle dozed in the moonlight, spread out over a lush meadow.
But tonight he wasn’t looking for cattle. Instead he was looking to make his peace.
Right in front of him stood a cave entrance, nothing but a hole in the ground. It looked like a mouth gaped open with the cornered turned down in a scowl. Mouth was a good word for it because this place almost swallowed his family whole.
Then he saw the rope.
A rope coiled beside the entrance to the cave. (Mary--the explosion, an intruder, in Rafe's cave)
Narrowing his eyes, he swung down and hitched his chestnut to a scrub pine. It’d been over a decade since Rafe had fought his battle with that cavern. And he’d faced that cave many times since because he refused to let it defeat him. But he’d never seen evidence anyone else had been in it. Not since Seth had run off.
He took two more steps and heard Seth scream. (Mary--more of the explosion, screaming is ALWAYS GOOD! )
Cold control sleeted in his veins as he drew his gun, leveled it. The metallic crack as he cocked it
There was nothing to aim at.
Seth didn't scream. Seth wasn't down there.
Another scream split the air. (Mary--the cute meet and the moment of change, though screaming and cute don't seem to go together, nothing cute in the real world about screaming usually. But in a novel they fit, and that screamer is Julia, of course. The change is, love comes into Rafe's overly controlled life in the form of a feisty damsel in distress who needs to be rescued in many ways, which will keep Rafe busy for 80,000 words)
The thing is, I’m not giving you a list of five possible ways to start your story. Your story needs to start with ALL OF THEM.
Explode
Story
Anchor
Moment of Change
Cute Meet
If you do this, when that overworked, hopeful but pessimistic editor pulls your submission out of it’s envelop, you've got a lot better chance of her reading past page one. You might even end up getting THE CALL!!!
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Candlelight Christmas
My latest release is an ebook Christmas novella containing two books, one by me, one by Linda Goodnight.
If you have read this (and liked it) I would really appreciate it if you'd go LIKE it on Amazon and leave a review.
Two Inspirational Christmas Stories ...
1. The Outlaw’s Gift by Linda Goodnight
1880s Oklahoma Territory
When drifter Seth Blackstone shows up at Raven Patterson’s homestead, Raven thinks this may be the solution to all her problems. But Seth’s mysterious past is about to catch up with him and could mean disaster for them both.
2. The Christmas Candle by Mary Connealy
Arkansas Ozarks 1883
Gabe Wagner, has left his hectic city life and moved onto Rose Palmer’s mountain. His plans to build a house will tear the heart out of her Ozark Mountain home. Rose learns that what she calls peace and quiet has evolved into isolation and loneliness. As Christmas approaches and she searches for the perfect way to honor the Savior’s birth, she realizes she wants to let Gabe into her life. But to do it, she may have to face a larger world that frightens her while she gives up the safe life she has always known.
Can the search for the perfect Christmas candle and the broken hearts of two little boys bring a solitary woman and a grieving man together?http://maryconnealy.com/
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